As a newly single mom, life was an endless marathon. Until I realized that surviving is not the same as thriving.
getting dressed for work, I shimmied into a sheath dress I hadn’t worn in months . And realized there was no way, not a chance, that I could do up the zipper myself. It went too deep and too high and my arms, apparently, didn’t work that way. In a previous life, this would have been his job. I may not have even had to ask because he would have noticed. He may even have put his nose in the nook of my neck and kissed it while zipping up the dress. But he was no longer here.
Once all the dishes are drying and the lunches are packed, all the clothes are folded and tiny socks paired to varying degrees of success, and the kids are finally asleep, it’s just you and the overwhelming quiet. Very quickly after our separation, life officially became a marathon that I was running daily. Those actual marathons I had run in a past life were nothing compared to this—namely because there was an end in sight. The only achievement was that even sweaty, dishevelled, bad-hair me stillon time, earned a pay cheque, and got dinner on the table. But then I’d have to do it all over again the next day.
The “Summer of Charlotte” started as a bit of a joke. As part of the summer of “funemployment,” I’d decided to meet all of my— people from moms groups, friends of friends who I’d connected with but never met, in person. The eight pounds I gained that summer proved that I had gone on exactly 58 “first dates"—58 coffees, scones, pizzas and ciders.
It was easy to look ahead to being alone now: I mean, I’d become adept at taking out the garbage, tending the garden, shovelling snow. I was basically juggling knives while wearing stilettos and making my own granola. What use was there for another person in this life I had created? What time was there for anything else?and less worried about my own future, and that of my boys.
He stood up to say goodbye. We hugged, an awkward “I have not been touched by anyone in a long time” hug and I left. I sent my friend a message to thank her for the connection and said it was fun.
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