My daughter came out as trans, and it saved my marriage — PrideMonth Pride365
I consider myself a lucky woman: I got to marry the same amazing person twice—the first time they wore a tux, and the second time, they wore a wedding gown.
If you had asked me to describe my family a few years ago, I would have told you we were a mother, father and three sons. The vanilla latte of families. And I like vanilla lattes, thank you very much. They’re simple and predictable. Now we had an answer, but it was one that frightened me. I knew very little about transgender issues, and even less about transgender children. How did we miss this? What do we do? I sat staring at the screen in utter disbelief, my body going cold from shock. But it didn’t take long before unconditional love—a force I’ve come to realize is greater than anything else—ushered me down the hall and to my child’s bedroom.
While the goal of supporting Alexis came easily, the learning curve was admittedly steep. I had grown up with plenty of misconceptions about the trans community that needed dismantling. The movies and TV shows I had watched in my youth depicted trans people as unstable, confused, and often conniving. But knowing my child meant knowing none of these things were true. We lost friends who refused to learn along with us.
Another shift, another cold wash of shock. In that moment, I found out I’d never had a husband. I had someone painfully playing the role of one, trying hard to be a man and a father when nothing could be further from the reality. It explained all the misery, but it was a crushing realization. The world can be cruel to trans people, and now we both knew our family had two of them. The silence was so profound you could almost hear our hearts breaking.
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