'I can’t help but worry that I might be complicit in fostering the wrong values. Aren’t I supposed to be teaching her that beauty comes from the inside?”
I watch from the hallway as my five-year-old daughter sits, admiring her reflection. She has a whole setup now, her favorite Christmas gift from her grandmother — a real vanity equipped with drawers and a large studio-lit mirror. On top of the table sit two acrylic makeup organizers filled with eyeshadows, lipsticks, brushes, blushes, and nail polish, with swivel technology for easy access and maximum “wow” factor.
Everything feels so loaded and critical, I feel an increased responsibility when making choices in certain areas, women’s empowerment being one of them. And watching herso seemingly rooted in the idea that women need to be “pretty” or “perfect” kind of makes me wince. Watching her transform and decorate her face, reveling in her masterpiece and announcing how “beautiful” she now looks, I can’t help but worry that I might be complicit in fostering the wrong values.
Like so much else, I think the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle. Like everything in life and parenting, I think the “it’s okay in moderation” motto applies here. Because, of course, if I was layering pounds of makeup on every day, never allowing anyone to see any minor flaws in my skin, talking openly about how I am only confident and beautiful with a face full of product, that would likely be problematic.
So, for now, I think the vanity can stay. I’ll keep a close eye on its impact and ensure it doesn’t morph into an obsession that creates a false sense of beauty and confidence. Jeez, sometimes I wish everything didn’t feel so heavy and important. I guess that’s what raising kids is though. So I’ll stay in-tuned, work through my worries as they arise, and hope that I make more good choices than bad.
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