Miss Manners: Was I right to apologize to the person who was on the receiving end of a neighbor’s rude rant?

This neighbor is known to have serious mental health issues and an addiction to alcohol.

When we introduced him to the woman we had just met, he quickly replied with an extremely rude and inappropriate remark directed at her. She immediately left us. We stood there in shocked silence for a minute or so, then excused ourselves as well.

A few minutes later, I saw the woman standing alone. I approached her and explained the situation with the neighbor, without too much detail. I also offered an “apology” of sorts. She was most understanding, and we proceeded to chat about more pleasant things.GENTLE READER: One hears the phrase “full disclosure” so much these days that it is natural to forget there is any other kind.

Miss Manners agrees with all of your actions except that she would have substituted a genuine apology for the “‘apology’ of sorts” -- and omitted the neighbor’s medical history. His health problems are not yours to tell, and accepting partial responsibility for his misbehavior is even more generous when unbacked by medical justifications.

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