If he’s going to do that, why shouldn’t I lie on his couch while we visit?
This bothers me no end. First, it puts his feet in our faces, and second, it says to me, “I want to be comfortable and to hell with you.”
One of my colleagues, who happens to be the department chairperson, insists that we all get together socially — to have dinner and drinks and talk about what we are working on. I am also concerned for my junior colleagues, who may feel compelled to accept her invitations even if they don’t want to, for fear of some passive-aggressive professional retaliation.A second issue is that several people in the department, including the chairperson, often ask prying questions about my whereabouts on weekends. I find it rude and presumptuous that they feel they have a right to know what I do in my private life. But if I say this outright, they will accuse me of being defensive.
You may not need to explain the concept of a work-life balance to your younger colleagues, but Miss Manners does understand your need to defend yourself tactfully from your chairperson.
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