Is it OK to abandon dozens of guests like this?
I was having a nice dinner at a restaurant with my dear friends Josef and Guillaume when they told me that two friends of theirs were coming to town soon, and that they would be hosting a cocktail party in their honor. I had met these friends at Josef and Guillaume’s home on a previous visit, and chatted with them on several occasions.
Guillaume invited me to the party and told me the time and date. Two days before the party, I received another call from him: He told me that these friends were going to be in town for a limited time and wanted to see a number of their other friends at the party, so he was asking that I not attend. I didn’t know quite how to respond, having never been invited to a social event and then uninvited later, but I said “sure.” He did say that they would have me over for dinner sometime soon.Refuse to accept any more invitations from these two for a while. If you do get invited to that compensatory dinner, you would be well within etiquette bounds to decline, saying, “Of course I would love to see you, but I am afraid I am a bit hesitant after the last invitation was rescinded.
This would rightly induce your would-be hosts to fall all over themselves apologizing. If that does not happen, or you feel it insufficient, you may certainly keep the relationship more distant until they have adequately expressed regret. Miss Manners further questions a cocktail party that cannot handle one additional person. The guests of honor certainly should have greeted you, but they were under no obligation to spend the entire party with you at the expense of their other guests. She wonders what sort of evening Josef and Guillaume had in mind.
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