DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother passed away and I found out about it from a nephew (not my brother’s son) who posted it on social media. ...
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother passed away and I found out about it from a nephew who posted it on social media. I find it absolutely disrespectful that my sister-in-law would not personally call me or any of my siblings to notify us of his death.
What is your opinion on the proper etiquette on death notifications to relatives, especially immediate family members?The widow’s not being up to the task may be understandable. One can understand distraught children falling short. But eventually, someone in the family has to take responsibility. Anything I say to try and get a conversation going is often met with an odd stare or her not understanding what I mean, despite it being very clear. If we’re at the dinner table, she will either remain silent or talk to someone else. After years of this happening -- despite my best attempts to make small talk, compliment her cooking, ask her about her interests, etc. -- I find myself very uncomfortable in her home.
GENTLE READER: Your discomfort is justified and understandable, and your husband’s comment is, well, understandable: It absolves him, the obvious go-between for you and his sister, of any further responsibility.
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