Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
A good friend’s husband hit on me when we were at dinner a few months ago. He always shows up when our group of female friends goes to dinner. The man is rude to waitstaff and picks his teeth at the dinner table.
By being applied universally, that rule was meant to avoid hurt feelings -- the kind that inevitably follow when one husband is accused of bad manners or bad morals. Since you cannot, politely, make that first accusation, this leaves you with two courses of action. I asked if she thought she was still contagious, and she answered only that she was at the “end stages” of the cold. I have no medical training or special knowledge in this area.As the hostess, I felt I had an obligation to protect my guests’ health. However, I did not want to exclude a guest who clearly felt she should attend. How should I have responded?Virtue is not always virtuous. Miss Manners recognizes your guest’s intention was to be honest, considerate and accommodating.
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