Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: Gifts used to be something one put thought into. Unlike some of your readers, I don’t mind wedding registries. I treat them as guides, not demands, and don’t feel constrained to purchasing from the list. I find them especially useful for members of my husband’s family whom I don’t know well.
I explained that I had already sent an age-appropriate building set. The silent disapproval was thunderous; I was even criticized for wrapping and mailing it myself. I should also note that I never get acknowledgments, much less thanks, for gifts I send this family. I’m much more enthusiastic about giving gifts to a friend’s teenage daughter, who always sends an actual handwritten thank-you note with photos of her enjoying the gift. So that practice isn’t completely dead.: Those who declare this practice “the new normal” no doubt equate it with saving others the trouble of thinking.
The thing is, prices for everything are going up, including for jars. I wonder if there is a way to ask for empty jars back without sounding tacky.: The tradition you cite did exist, but has fallen into disuse, likely in step with the decrease in home-canned goods generally.
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