Plus: They apparently don’t trust me to know my own dietary restrictions.
Close friends have been accommodating, but in less familiar social situations, I find my lack of indulgence brings a spate of unwanted medical advice — this, after demurely mentioning the name of the condition when pressed. I’m offered the names of “better” doctors, pharmaceuticals that cured Aunt Gertrude, behavioral advice and more.GENTLE READER:
Naming your medical condition, Miss Manners notes without satisfaction but also without surprise, made things worse. Stop supplying ammunition.“Would you like some?”“You’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t have any.”“Thank you, no.”What should an invitee do when an RSVP date is approaching and they are still not positive they can accept the invitation?
This has happened to me on occasion, due to unusual circumstances. Should I go ahead and decline, even though I would love to attend? Or perhaps call the host and explain the circumstances?Your host has offered to entertain and/or feed you. Does it seem right to reciprocate by adding to their worries ?
The proper course of action is to decline politely. Once you have done that, Miss Manners raises no objection to a short explanation: “We would have loved to come to the party, but unfortunately we are still waiting for the hospital to schedule George’s surgery.” This leaves the decision about whether to replace you, or to extend the deadline, where it belongs: in the hands of the hosts.
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