She was on her phone for most of the letter writer’s dinner party.
I had a formal sit-down dinner for eight guests at my home. One guest was on her phone nearly the whole time — texting and even watching live videos that her friends posted while others were trying to have a conversation.
She was away from the group, but the sounds were still audible. She arrived late and stayed by herself, on her phone, during the cocktail and hors d'oeuvres time. When it was time for dinner, once everyone was seated and the food was being passed, she got up to get the hors d'oeuvres and bring them to the table. Then she got up again to go to her car to bring pictures of her boyfriend to the table for us to see. Never excused herself.
When asked at the end of the party if she had been bored, she said she had had a great time but was trying to include her long-distance boyfriend whom she misses so much and can’t go any length of time without contacting.I didn’t want to call her out on her behavior at the party and am hesitant to do so now. She has very low self-esteem, but she also wonders why she loses friends.
As it would be impolite to correct your friend's manners, the least unkind thing to do is to find a new eighth for your next party. And let's stop asking the guests if they are bored.I traveled by bus to attend a funeral for a family member in my hometown . I don’t mind riding the bus, and in fact, I relish the chance to listen to a podcast or audiobook and unwind.
Miss Manners often says that one rudeness does not justify another, so how can this woman’s rudeness cancel the rudeness of ignoring her? Because it does. Etiquette is not stupid. It may, occasionally, allow one to use politeness as a bludgeon — but it does not allow rudeness to be so used. You may listen to your audiobook with a clear conscience, but you must steel yourself to do so.
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