Only now, marching through Mass Effect a third time in the Legendary Edition, do I finally appreciate Conrad Verner.
A year before Mass Effect came out, The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion gave us the Adoring Fan. Become grand champion of the arena and he follows you around offering backrubs and getting in the way. Everyone hated him. Mass Effect's Conrad Verner seemed like another Adoring Fan, so we were destined to hate him too.
Part of Verner's value is that he illustrates your rise. He's impressed the first time you meet, when you're the hero who shot up"a hundred geth". By the next time you see him you've become a Spectre—a special agent with frankly obscene extrajudicial powers. Verner's clumsy salute and blathering praise make you feel a little puffed up."This guy who already thought I was hot shit is surprised by what I've managed.
In Mass Effect 3 Verner's found among the Citadel's dockside refugees. Having heard you were working for Cerberus, he tried to join the organization and was manipulated into being a distraction while they sabotaged some nearby medical stations. Verner's goofed again, though this time at least he realizes it and apologizes. He also apologizes for accusing you of pointing a gun at him that one time,"when you didn't actually do that. I was really stressed out.
It continues with Shepard and Verner coordinating resources back and forth as they make calls and bring up their computer screens."Oh no," he says,"the schematics are in an ancient asari dialect!""Would this collection of asari matriarch collectibles I spent way too long scrounging for in the first game help?""Why yes, they would! But the schematics are also patented by Elkoss Combine and I don't have a licence.
But Mass Effect isn't done fucking with you yet. There's one last sidequest from the first game with a pay-off yet to come. If you helped Jenna—a waitress at the Chora's Den strip club secretly working as an informant—she returns out of the blue to explain she saw what was happening and used an old trick she learned from those days to sabotage the agent's gun.
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