Lauren Boebert Offers To Personally Jerk Off Any Constituents She Offended

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Lauren Boebert Offers To Personally Jerk Off Any Constituents She Offended
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WASHINGTON—In an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown out of a theatrical performance, Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) announced Friday that she would personally jerk off any constituents she offended. “In the past week, I’ve heard from many supporters who were concerned by…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown out of a theatrical performance, Rep. Lauren Boebert announced Friday that she would personally jerk off any constituents she offended. “In the past week, I’ve heard from many supporters who were concerned by my behavior in recently r

eleased footage, which is why I’m offering to make things good between us by jacking you off,” said Boebert, instructing supporters to contact her office with proof of Colorado residency and she would personally travel to their home to deliver an on-the-house tugjob. “As a disclaimer, I will be wearing a latex glove and you need to wipe yourself off afterwards. I’m not going to do that. I’m serious about making amends, however, so feel free to rest your hand on my breasts, if necessary.

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