The relationship between trauma and addiction was not well understood 50 years ago
. Drinking to excess was seen as self-indulgent, a moral failing. I’m grateful that time and distance have combined to change my perspective. I now understand my mother drank not because of a weak character, but to cope with a body wearing out before its time from unremitting pregnancy and as a way to swallow her anger and disappointment. It was also a way to mourn a loss of self.
On the day of my wedding, some 90 guests gathered for the reception in a Dublin hotel. Most every adult in the room, including me, had had plenty to drink even before the champagne was rolled out. When Josephine and Murray stood to toast the bride, they raised glasses of sparkling water. My mother smiled at me across the table. Hannah gave me a cold-eyed stare as she and Joe walked around the table and invited my parents to dance.
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