“A fuzzy feeling comes over me, from the top down, as if my head could float up off my shoulders”
Photo: J.V. Aranda My parents’ divorce announcement when I was 7 came as a surprise to me, in large part because I’d never heard them raise their voices at each other. I always figured they’d taken pains to only do so out of my earshot; only recently did my mother tell me that, in 16 years of marriage, they’d never fought that way. They’d never really expressed themselves angrily at all.
I’d like to paint you a picture of what I experienced and observed; to show and not tell as has always been my job. I’d like to be able to recall more things clearly, if only to fully process them now myself. But that’s the thing about trauma like mine — my brain, trying to protect me from a young age, facilitated dissociation that blocked most of the concrete details out. I know for sure now what happened in my family wasn’t okay.
Healthy relationships don’t get built like that. They end, sometimes immediately and sometimes a little later, but always in relatively short order. And in a way, that’s been my preference; better to be alone than trapped with another potential controlling, emotionally exhausting abuser, or to go on unfairly erupting at and subsequently stonewalling a good partner.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
It’s Complicated: The Time I Scheduled a Heartbreak 3 Months in Advance“With our relationship’s hourglass now flipped over, I felt like we were racing against time to fall in love”
Read more »
Netflix's Dark Is Stranger Things for Grown-UpsBored with Stranger Things? Try Dark.
Read more »
‘Stranger Things’ Is Back & It’s Quite GrownWe're mostly just here for Erica.
Read more »
It's not just America—China is forcibly separating thousands of children from their familiesBeijing is pursuing a vast campaign of sinicization in the western region of Xinjiang, where the majority of the population is Muslim.
Read more »
17-Year-Old Aging Out Of Foster Care Makes Plea For A FamilyGet ready for your heart to break.
Read more »
Chinese official: Pig fever outbreak 'complicated and grim'BEIJING (AP) — The death toll from a disease outbreak in China's pig herds that has pushed up global pork prices has risen to 1.2 million animals, but its spread has 'significantly slowed,' a...
Read more »