Literature is full of tales of unrequited love. But in reality, one philosopher argues, it’s impossible to truly love someone who doesn’t love you back.
when Charlotte does not return his love. The long-nosed Cyrano de Bergerac from Rostand's eponymous play is madly in love with his beautiful cousin Roxane, but she fancies another man. Literature is full of such tales, and it seems, so is life. While you probably don't know of any real person who committed suicide because of a broken heart , you likely know many who have stories of unrequited love, and perhaps, you have such a story yourself.
It may help to look at the issue from the other side, that of being the object of affection you cannot reciprocate. It's probably happened to you: Someone claimed to love you, but you felt nothing. You may have thought then that the other is mistaking physical attraction for love, or is simply wrong about who you are and what you need in a partner. In the other's mind, the two of you can be perfectly happy together, but you know that this is impossible.
This person knew, at least at some level, that the relationship was bound to end. For if you didn't enjoy a few weeks or months spent with another, if you didn't want to go to the movies with them or meet their friends, how could you possibly believe the other is your soulmate? You don't, not really. That is why the breakup feels abrupt only to the one who was in the dark as to the true significance of everything.
There are two more points I would like to note. First, the love a person may feel for a fictionalized version of another is not, in virtue of that, unreal. Feelings can be real whether or not their object is. That's certainly true of love and of heartache, but it is true more generally. It is just that the reality of our feelings does not confer existence upon their object. A snake-shaped tree branch does not turn into a snake simply because it makes us fearful.
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