How some couples are rethinking healthy sleep — and healthy relationships — by getting a sleep divorce
, partners spend more time together under the same roof. This lack of alone time combined with chronic sleep disruptions can make for unhappy coupling.
Making a pros and cons list together and developing a specific plan for how to proceed can help both partners feel valued. Vass recommended making time to evaluate together if the plan is working. “Talk to each other and avoid unhelpful thinking styles like mind reading, making assumptions or catastrophizing.”
But sleep experts and couples therapists agree that exhaustion and lack of energy aren’t good for libido. If both partners are getting a good night’s sleep, separate bedrooms can improve intimacy.shows women who got an extra hour of sleep per night reported higher levels of sexual desire. She recommended planning micro-dates to strengthen intimacy. “Find 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to have coffee, take a walk or sit on the couch with a partner.
As a therapist, Brand’s advice to couples considering trying a sleep divorce is to listen to your partner’s concerns. “Make it clear that your desire to sleep separately is not a rejection of the other person, but about what you need to be a good partner.”
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