'I am not a new mom, but I am not totally seasoned either.'
I scroll TikTok and pause at a cool new mom with her eighteen-month-old son. She shows off her daily fit — a thrifted sweatshirt, wide-leg pants, and platform Converse. She seamlessly plugs a lip gloss brand, flashes a cute smile, and the video ends. I immediately head to Depop for a sweatshirt, knowing I need to replicate this trendy look. I am sure I will look equally cool in an outfit similar to hers. Because we are both young moms, into fashion... except wait… I amyoung. I am thirty-seven.
Maybe I need to take this transition slowly, and lean forward a little at a time. I mean, it is the only logical direction of travel in life after all. Maybe I need to be a little less fearful of leaving this more youthful stage and a tad more embracing of the next chapter. And I think I can do it with grace and balance. I don’t have to run straight to Ann Taylor Loft and start playing pickleball. Instead, I can slowly transition out of this weird in-between.
I’ll start with small changes, like less comparing myself to young moms and influencers. More light reading and less TikTok. And I will start encouraging myself to recognize the beauty in my own age and experience instead of seeing it as a one-way ticket to Loserville. I will focus on some of the wonderful things that come with this next motherhood phase — more independence, body autonomy, and quality time with my husband.
I’ve even heard women say that they reach a new-found level of confidence and happiness in their later years, caring less and giving themselves more grace. Now I can get down with that. And until I am safely on the other side, I will just continue to tread water as best I can in this confusing in-between. Kind of young, kind of old, and really weird.
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