At the core of many platonic partnerships is a skepticism toward monogamy and romance: Sure, you may love your romantic partner. But are they necessarily a good spouse or co-parent?
Photo: Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images In times of romantic disappointment, there are comfort shows I turn to — Friends, Girlfriends, How I Met Your Mother. They all have one thing in common: They frame friend groups as family units. Friends cluster inside apartments and brunch establishments. Romantic partners are ancillary, funneling in and out, often without consequence, while the friendships endure.
I spoke with members of three TikTok-public platonic life couples about how they went from friends to life partners, the misconceptions they face within those partnerships, and what happens when a PLP ends. Krystle: A lot of our friends are in the queer community or are friends with people in the queer community. A lot of this shit makes sense to them.Jay: This relationship type is not normalized, and there’s not a lot of language around it. So we have to do a lot of explaining. As for benefits, we never have reason to get divorced.
Krystle: Everyone thinks we’re secretly in love, because they don’t value platonic relationships as they value romantic ones. I’ll tell people that I’m going out with my wife and they don’t bat an eye. But you say “best friend,” and all of a sudden they don’t take it as serious. Renee: In my first relationship, I believed I wanted to be married, settle down, have kids. Now that I’m further removed, I realize that isn’t what I want. I don’t necessarily want kids.Renee: I’m a demisexual, meaning I have to have an emotional connection to be sexually attracted to someone. PLP opened me up to other kinds of relationships, like polyamory and exploring my bisexuality. When I’m dating, I’m up-front about my PLP.
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