'I never expected to be a mother. I was 46 when she was born, and I spent 21 days in the hospital. Our first year was one of isolation, exhaustion, gratitude, and confusion.'
I never expected to be a mother. I was 46 when she was born, and I spent 21 days in the hospital. Our first year was one of isolation, exhaustion, gratitude, and confusion. We had to get to know each other. I missed those first cocoon days together, and I felt like I was always catching up. I didn’t know then that motherhood is exactly that.
We put her in daycare two days a week after her first birthday. I felt guilty when I wasn’t with her, and I felt guilty when I wasn’t working; I wasn’t fully present for either. The shelter-in-place order changed everything. We were back to those early days, but this time I was head over heels in love with her.
I was also terrified for us, and my heart was breaking for those who suffered. I woke up every morning filled with dread. We started making pictures as a way to pass the hours. These are the only times I am completely in the moment, not worried or anxious. I look for magic and escape. The in-between times, the tender grasp of her hand, a wet curl on her perfect skin: All of this I want to hold in my heart.
She knows that we are creating something together. She lets me hover with a camera. She composes scenes, moves equipment around. She paints on herself more than the paper. I have little control over how long we shoot or what happens during. We give each other what we can. She is becoming her own person, and that is my greatest joy as her mother. I grieve for the children and mothers who are losing each other in this pandemic, and I hold her tighter. We will celebrate all of us this Mother’s Day.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
GMB's Charlotte Hawkins shares rare picture with husband Mark and daughter Ella Rose to mark VE DayGMB's Charlotte Hawkins shares rare picture with husband and daughter - fans react
Read more »
Why the isolation doc 'Spaceship Earth' feels so tailor-made for this momentDirector Matt Wolf talks about what the biosphere documentary, now on digital and Hulu, has to teach us about life after COVID-19.
Read more »
Billie Eilish Working on New Song in QuarantineBillie Eilish is making the most of her time in isolation at home by fostering puppies and recording new music.
Read more »
Phillip Schofield says he's still living in family home after rule break claimsPhillip Schofield has declared he's still living in his family home with his wife and daughters after fans questioned how he'd been able to take a picture with them during lockdown
Read more »
Phillip Schofield poses for first family lockdown photo with Steph and girlsIt's the first time Phillip has been pictured together with his wife Steph and their grown up daughters since the This Morning star moved out of the £2million family home
Read more »
The Hauntingly Beautiful Self-Portraits of 'Girls of Isolation'Olivia Gatwood's 'Girls of Isolation' is an art show for the COVID-19 era.
Read more »