“The fastest way to take control of your life is to stop controlling everyone around you.”
Five years ago, at a friend’s house party, I ended up in conversation with a woman I had never met before. It was: work, dating, who we knew there. After minutes of mutually tepid chat, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and when I came out, I was distracted by someone I knew waving me into the kitchen. I never returned to the woman.
At its crux, the theory asserts that by worrying or stressing about situations, people or their actions — which we ultimately have little to no control over — it causes us unnecessary emotional and mental distress. In fact, by allowing people to do what they will do anyway, you can see their true colors more quickly and then you can act accordingly. People writing mean things about you on the internet? Let them.
“When you are in the stages of early relationship development there can be a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunication,” says, tenured professor of sexual and relational communication at CSUF. “People bring their past experiences, perceptions and baggage into new relationships, making it difficult to predict their actions accurately.
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