The first step to feeling better is resisting the urge to ignore your grief.
, as SELF previously reported, or at a local counseling center, issue-specific agency, or community health center. But if the group is making you feel worse or otherwise isn’t working for you—which happens—it’s also fine to walk away, says Dr. Cormier says.
Another option: Find like-minded people elsewhere—by, say, signing up for fitness classes, learning a new language,that intrigues you, or joining a club, Dr. Cormier says. Even if the people you bond with aren’t going through the exact same things you are, relating to others who share a common interest can be incredibly healing, Dr. Cormier says. If you get connected with a group and it doesn’t feel right, step out and keep looking, she adds.
An important note: The ability to zoom out comes gradually. As Dr. Harris works with clients, sometimes they’re not able to think about anything beyond their pain—normal and okay!—but, over time, she plants seeds that can grow into an expanded perspective, she says.
Big-picture perspectives like this can come from talking things out with a loved one, journaling, or simply reflecting on the past once you’ve gotten some distance from it. But if you feel stuck and like you could use more support, it can be helpful to reach out to a licensed therapist who specializes in grief. (
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