I'd wanted to give up at 18 but worried about judgement from my peers.
I remember feeling embarrassed because I was drunk before the food arrived, and I remember being sick in the toilets before going back to the bar and ordering another vodka orange.a horrific hangover
The decision to stop drinking entirely, which I wouldn’t make for another four years, was my way of regaining some control.I started to open up to my closest friends about how alcohol made me feel , so instead, I became someone who rarely drank. I’d also started to notice a pattern. I would dread social situations that involved alcohol, and then when I was in these social situations, I would feel like I needed a drink to relax.my anxiety would go into overdriveI’m incredibly lucky to have the friends that I do and, looking back, I know they would have loved and supported me whatever I decided.