I’ve worked the turkey hotline for seven years. Here’s my best advice.
Hi. This is Chris with the Jennie-O Turkey Hotline. So you’re calling with a question about the turkey for your Thanksgiving dinner—oof, are those your kids screaming in the background? Or your in-laws? I get the sense we’re not just talking about the turkey. It’s about the whole event, with the cooking, the cleaning, the family dynamics….So I’m not going to make this too transactional, like, “This is the cooking time; this is the thawing time.” I’m going to take a minute to connect with you.
One to one and a half pounds per person, but feel free to go bigger if you’ve got ambitious plans for leftovers!Three things: meat thermometer, meat thermometer, meat thermometer. You want the temperature to reach 165 to 180 degrees in the thickest part of the thigh.Depends on the size of your turkey, but it ranges from about three and a half to five and a half hours.
And I’m here to tell you: Cut yourself some slack. It’s difficult to perfect a giant meal that you only get to practice making once a year. There’s a performative aspect to Thanksgiving dinner that makes people especially vulnerable. Even as a turkey crisis counselor, I become extremely stressed out when I have multiple things that all need to be done at the same time. And if something doesn’t turn out perfectly, it’s doubly frustrating.
Sometimes unforeseen events will cause you stress. I remember speaking to one lady whose mom had recently passed away, so the Thanksgiving torch had been passed to her. She was putting a lot of pressure on herself trying to make sure everything went perfectly in order to carry on her mom’s traditions.But you can create unconventional traditions from difficult circumstances too.
Chris Anderson is a consumer response specialist for Hormel Foods—and a stand-up comedian—who has worked the
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