'As I nod along in conversations about urine therapy, microdosing truffles, and spending £160 on a distiller to rid tap water of toxins, it becomes clear I’m deep in woo-woo wellness territory.' | EllenCScott
. I find myself here for a reason simpler than most of the group: I received an email invite, skimmed bullet points about playing, voice work, and ‘sensuality exploration’, and thought something along the lines of ‘that’s the last thing I would ever do, so f*** it, I’m in’.
I’m a London cliché wearing flimsy trainers as I don’t have walking boots, and quickly get soaked sludging through boggy grass. I’m surprised to find I don’t mind – I’m too taken in by the plushness of the moss on the trees, the gentle chirp of birds, the crunch of acorns and autumn leaves beneath me.
Music is turned on and we’re told to ‘let our feet lead us around the room’, to ‘let them guide us’. My feet would quite like to run back to my bedroom. Perhaps our feet might meet someone else’s feet, and say hello however feet would do that, says Alana. My feet are antisocial.Others are great at letting loose and dancing like no one’s watching… I am not
Crying? Just from looking at someone’s eyes for three minutes? I’m shocked – and a little embarrassed – too. Woo-woo it may be, but there’s something in it. These won’t be anywhere near the last tears shed on this retreat.Next up, ‘cyclonic sharing’ – a slightly airy-fairy term for sitting in mini circles and going round and round finishing prompts – ‘I feel wildest when…’, ‘what blocks my wild self is…’.
I don’t take a picture of the cat, as it feels like breaking the rules to whip my phone out during meditation, but here’s part of the river I’m taken aback by how gentle my partner is, and how intimate this all feels – but also how completely I trust in the kindness of the people here.That trust and the overwhelm of love between strangers is a key component in what happens next: the grief ceremony.
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