This isn’t about love or money, The Moneyist says. It's about this:
I’ve been living with the same man for close to 27 years. Of course, our relationship was good in the beginning. Most are. However, he has always had an inability to handle money. Our home has always been in my name, usually because of his poor credit. I’ve always had to be the one to plan and pay for any vacations and, frankly, I’m sick to death of him.
Ask yourself the tough questions with the help of a team: a lawyer, therapist and/or financial therapist. Love means many things to many people.
Help him to sign up for Medicaid, if he has not done so already. Ask him what kind of split he would find fair. We all have choices. You chose him and you chose to stay with him. From your letter, he is healthy enough to work and go about his business. The kidney transplant was a success. He lives a normal life, to coin an often overused/misused phrase. Devoting your life and your time on this planet to a man you don’t love anymore is not a vocation. It's not an act of love or respect.
When you ask yourself the tough questions with the help of a team — a lawyer, therapist and/or financial therapist — you will stop suppressing your voice and your true feelings, and start living your life on your terms. North Carolina does not recognize common-law marriage. A lawyer can advise you on the rent your partner has paid, whether it constitutes a contribution to your mortgage, and what might be a fair sum to pay him. Ask him what he believes would be fair. Then give your view.
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