Dear Diary: Ottawa has a roadkill crow made from car tires and it feels underappreciated.
That’s nothing. An absolutely piddling amount of money. That’s 0.004 per cent as much money as Ottawa’s police budget. Why, I think I’m worth far more than public safety. After all, I’m made of car tires.You know, it’s sort of odd that I was made into a crow. If I think of animals that define Ottawa, I really am stuck with one option: those horrifying, cat-sized black squirrels that roam the capital.
I do think I bring a certain political talking point to this city. The NCC even said so. I’m not just any crow, after all, I’ve been killed by a car. I’m meant to demonstrate “the harm caused by our commuter culture as well as the crow’s role as a scavenger of urban waste.”Article contentI’ve been informed that Ottawa Mayor Mark Sutcliffe wouldn’t say whether or not he likes me.
What an outrage. Every Tom, Dick and Harry on social media is weighing in, but I can’t find defenders in high places.I know Ottawa is a place where pleated trousers are considered a daring fashion statement, and everyone flees as fast as possible to the suburbs after work, but surely the mayor can show a little guts and defend me from the louts on social media condemning my mere existence.
Haven’t you people ever heard of microplastics? They’ve crossed the blood-brain barrier. Why would you want to grind us up and put us back into the environment? As a statue, I’m dignifiedTruly, this is a time for an artistic revolution. There should be towering edifices of old tires marking the Fathers of Confederation and other luminaries.Recommended from Editorial
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