It's time we talked about how friendships change when your friends start becoming mums.
I know there can be a lot of resentment from mums who feel overworked and underappreciated towards their friends they see out at the club on Insta Stories. To those of you who are boiling over, remember that not everyone who doesn’t have a kid doesn’t want one. Assuming a childless woman is shallow, immature, or doesn’t understand real adulthood is an insult in so many ways, but especially because it may not even be up to her.
In my experience, mums seem to think I’m in a state of arrested development and they’ve moved up to a form of life I’ll never understand. What they don’t get is that I’m also living a life they can’t understand, one that requires walking a far less well-worn road and doing it on my own. I’d be happy to tell them about it if they’d remember to ask. But if I have to have a baby to be seen and regarded as a worthwhile person to spend time with again, that seems very unfair to the baby.
As a childless person, I will always advocate for things that will improve the material life of parents – affordable childcare, better, funding for schools and community centres – because it does matter to me that children are raised to thrive even if I never have one of my own. I also want my gals pals to have that support so we can get a coffee once in a while. Still, if a friend with a kid doesn’t occasionally extend the invitation my way, I’d rather get coffee on my own.
, like a plant, require tending. Even the most low effort, undemanding cactus of a friendship needs a little water, or it dies.
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