‘I’m a man of simple pleasures’: I live with my girlfriend, 59, who owns several homes and has saved $3 million. I pay utilities, cable and do a lot of repairs. Is that enough?
I think I am being more than fair relative to sharing expenses while living in my girlfriend’s house, but I could use a little perspective.
These improvements have added value to her home. I do a lot of minor repairs at her rental properties and coordinate contractor work on her behalf since I’m good at making sure things are done right and that she gets what she pays for. I spring for most meals and entertainment, and am happy to do so. We typically share the cost of travel.
Here’s the rub. She regularly complains about what certain things are costing her for the maintenance and repair of her properties and the things she owns , yet she spends freely and impulsively, with many of the things she buys falling by the wayside because they weren’t what she expected or really wanted.
The simple part: She has told you what she wants. She thinks it would be fairer if you paid more toward your living expenses. Call it rent, although I understand that “rent” seems like a dirty word in a relationship, particularly as it suggests an imbalance of power and a temporary rather than permanent arrangement.
Ask your girlfriend if you can give her advice about her purchases. As I told the woman who wanted to buy the $30,000 bracelet, we often buy stuff believing it will fill an emotional or spiritual vacuum in our lives. When it doesn’t, we buy more.