Dear How to Do It: I’m not sure how tell my husband a man gave an orgasm on a massage table.
Take it from me, a woman who has done many, many sexual things in many, many contexts: Sometimes vanilla is wonderful. Sometimes vanilla is what you crave. Sometimes you get tired of all the bells and whistles—or belts and whips—and just want pure physical connection.
Don’t get hung up on dick size, either. If your girlfriend says it’s enough, take her at her word. Which is really the core here, isn’t it? Believe what she says to you.What would you suggest a liberal, vanilla, suburban, nonreligious Jewish, heterosexual couple in their early 40s tell their 8- and 12-year-old sons about pornography on the internet to keep them safe?I don’t have kids. You should know this and take everything I say with that grain of salt.
Another problem is that they may take porn scenes to be a how-to guide for sexual interactions and even flirtation. Counter this with a big dose of consent culture. Talk to your kids about touching—any kind of touching, sexual or not—and impart to them the need to ask permission first. Whether the touch in question is a handjob or a hug, they’ll be well-served by a tendency to ask first. Model this behavior for them. You could ask friends if they’d like a hug before you hug them.
Build a solid relationship with your kids so they feel comfortable coming to you with their dating woes as they age, even their questions about pornography—because they will have questions, and you don’t want them to wait until they’re adults to ask. They’ll have questions I can’t anticipate. They’ll have questions you can’t anticipate. That open channel of communication will be invaluable.I am married to a man who recently declared that he is gay.
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