I find it difficult to orgasm with my partner, so I fake it - why don't I enjoy penetration?

💬 'Do most women enjoy penetration? Why don't I? I want to enjoy it' ⬇️ A sociologist and psychosexual psychotherapist responds to this reader's letter

There can be many reasons for this but one common reason is

I’m curious whether you orgasm when you masturbate? I often work with people who do not orgasm with partners but can on their own. I invite you to take some time to explore your own body. It may also help to introduce mutual masturbation into your sexual play time. This could mean showing them how you like to be touched and/or masturbating while they are holding you or stimulating you elsewhere. If that feels too exposing, you could close your eyes while you are masturbating.

It helps, of course, if a partner is open to listening in general. Do you feel that this is the case? Sex isn’t just about pleasing the other person, it’s a team approach.

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