How do you find out if you’re middle-aged? Try the knee test, in which you squat down to grab something out of a low cabinet. If you slowly tip over onto your side while hissing “Fuckkkkkk this life,” you are!
Are you confused by your stage of life? Feel young and vibrant, and yet a day-spa worker recently called your skin “crêpey”? It’d be great finally to have confirmation that you’re no longer a vital part of society—but how? Throw yourself a middle-age-reveal party!Most middle-age-reveal parties share a simple theme: gray. Think gray cocktails, gray plastic cups, gray napkins, and gray party games, such as Pin the Sad Gray Tail on the Sad Gray Donkey Who Looks Ridiculous in Floral Prints.
But, if you slowly tip over onto your side while hissing “Fuckkkkkk this life,” you are!While guests watch, log on to a Web site that requires you to enter the year in which you were born via a drop-down menu. Now see how long it takes you to scroll down far enough to find that year. Two minutes? Three? Do you see 1929 at the bottom of the list? Then—ding-ding-ding! Hello, oldie.Have a party guest hand you a restaurant menu.
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