Four simple ways to reinvigorate that spark.
This game, created by Perel herself, is predicated on storytelling."We go to sleep as little ones with people telling us stories," she explains."It is a very rooted, archaic ritual inside all of us." While you can play this game with anyone at any time, she suggests starting off by drawing a few of the prompt cards at a time with your partner before bed.
"When you go to the gym, you'd go to a dedicated place," she reminds us."When you go to pray, or when you go to meditate, you go to a dedicated place. When you go to a restaurant, you go to a dedicated place. The restaurant doesn't look like your bedroom, so your bedroom shouldn't look like your kitchen or like your laundry room. This is because we are highly suggestive and suggestible to the environment. It gives a sense of meaning to what we are about to experience.
In particular, she tells us that she always mentally returns to the same potential scenario:"My classic image used to be that you go out for dinner with friends and you find yourself talking about all kinds of things. Your partner suddenly talks about the books or the movies they saw, and you look at them and say, 'Wow, I didn't even know you liked that.
While questions such as these may be uncomfortable to ask at first, she says that they play a key role in keeping the romantic spark alive."It's that next level that says, 'I'm still curious about you. I don't know you completely. You're not the inside of my pocket,'" she argues. Perel reminds us,"Deeper intimacy goes with more risk. More risk goes with trust. Trust goes with more risk. It circles. Deeper intimacy is into-me-see.
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