The most wonderful time of the year can also be the loneliest.
, tells SELF. “Besides the greater culture telling us we should want it, feeling a sense of love and belonging is natural for most humans.”
wanting one—judging ourselves for our needs and wants is what hurts us,” Dr. Creson says. Putting inordinate pressure on yourself to make the most of being single can be rooted in an optimization mindset that just isn’t sustainable—basically, know that you don’t have to treat every less-than-desirable thing that happens to you as an opportunity for self-improvement. Instead, aim to listen to your desires and think about where they’re coming from.
“If we are fine where we are, but our families want something different for us, that’s on them,” Dr. Creson says. “If we live a life that is not aligned with our own values just to please someone else, that’s where we get into feelings of loneliness, resentment, and dissatisfaction. We can’t pick our families, but we can divorce our sense of worth from their beliefs and connect them more to our own.
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