After my fourth or fifth dismal run, I realized the key component I’d been missing: humility
Before lockdown, as travel restrictions were just beginning to be imposed and social distancing measures were being hesitantly introduced, I professed to a friend that I expected my life to carry on more or less unchanged, so long as my local remained open and I could still go to the gym. Days later, the government ordered bars and restaurants to close, and later that day my neighborhood gym voluntarily followed. I haven’t been to either in two months now.
Not being able to go to the gym has been one of the most difficult things about life under lockdown. I have felt my fitness eroding, my body softening, hard-won achievements wrested away. Physically, I feel weaker, sluggish, frequently tired, as though some latent reserve of energy I once depended on for alertness and strength has been depleted. The effect of the gym’s closure on my mental health has been even more pronounced.
For a CrossFit athlete, indifference is fatal. You need a certain ardour, almost a fanaticism, to do it right. It wasn’t simply the repetitiveness of the exercise that was undermining my enthusiasm. It was the solitude. I missed the classes: the instruction and encouragement of the coaches, the camaraderie of a group collectively suffering. Classes inspired me, held me accountable. Without them, I was flailing by rote.
So, I resigned myself to the inevitable. If I hoped to stay in any kind of shape, I’d have to learn to run. As a show of commitment I ordered an expensive pair of running shoes and some leggings and shorts online. Duly equipped, I made yet another first attempt in earnest: five arduous kilometres on another cool Saturday afternoon. It was even more difficult than I remembered.
The next day I ran again, more slowly than seemed intuitive — more like a brisk trot, my breathing steady, heart rate under control. Something happened that I would say was surprising, only it would surprise no runner. I had my best run yet. I ran the same five kilometres without stopping to rest once, and what’s more, I did it in less time than usual, according to the Nike Run Club app I’ve been using to track my runs. I came home tired, but not obliterated; my legs were sore, but not in pain.
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