This Emmy season was filled with mothers who defied the odds and often put themselves in harm’s way to protect their children. In the past, I’d watch characters like these with admiration and awe, …
This Emmy season was filled with mothers who defied the odds and often put themselves in harm’s way to protect their children. In the past, I’d watch characters like these with admiration and awe, but never truly understood the gut-wrenching pain that comes with creating and protecting life. These figures, despite coming from vastly different worlds, helped me through one of the most difficult and beautiful periods of my life — becoming a mother.
Things changed rapidly for me, though, a month before giving birth last June. I was calling my parents to discuss last-minute items to buy for the baby, when my dad picked up and said, “Your mother has breast cancer.” I could hear my mother screaming and crying in the background. She just kept saying, “I don’t want to die. I want to see my granddaughter grow up. I can’t die.” I fell to the ground. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t lose my mother, not now, not when I was about to become one.
On June 24, at 2:40 a.m., I gave birth to a beautiful little life and named her Zahra Esperanza, for she was radiant and full of hope. She was such a spark of joy for everyone in my family, especially for my mother, who saw her as a guiding light to stay strong. Rhaenyra, though fictional, inspired me because despite taking hit after hit, her fire would not be put out. Even in the final moments of the first season finale when she loses someone yet again — her son Lucerys — we see her face is filled with grief and rage, yes, but also the strength to fight back. I felt that so deeply, both for myself and for my mother.
Serena and June unexpectedly bond over the birth of Serena’s son in the fith season of “The Handmaid’s Tale.”When June tells Serena at one point in the series that she prays their children “live a life of peace, a life without all of this hate and violence” and that she hopes “may they do better than we did,” it brought me back to when I gave birth.
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