'I have always done well at my job, but feel I have been passed up for a couple of opportunities because bosses are closer with colleagues they have gotten drunk with'
I don’t drink for religious reasons. In high school and college, staying sober never hampered my ability to have fun. I was able to party and hang out with friends without anyone raising an eyebrow. Now, I work at a small organization in a very bro-y industry.
You even asking this is a sign that we are slowly returning to the “normal” rhythms of life. It is also a reminder that our old “normal” often sucked. But it is drinking, and so the structural gender inequity is even starker: Women don’t metabolize alcohol as men do. It affects us more quickly in the moment and it does more damage to our bodies over time.
But until any of us get to see any of those fantasies become reality, we have to invent alternate paths and resist, when we can, reinscribing the ones that exist. But I know you’re not imagining things when you say you notice that relationships are closer among the booze crew. The intimacy we feel under the influence isn’t very durable, but it’s real. Now the question is, how do you foster healthy professional ties without tying one on?
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