MyTwoCents: 'I understand that he wants to plan more, but I need some spontaneity!'
Photo: George Marks/Getty Images I’m newly married, and my husband and I have been trying to talk about our future financial goals. I know that’s a good thing, but now he is very particular about my spending. Last night, we met up for dinner after a work event, and the bill was $117 . Still, he thought it was unnecessary and ridiculous to be so flippant about our budget.
Which is sweet, if you think about it! When your husband isn’t stressing about your dinner bill, he probably loves your spontaneity, and needs it to save him from a life of boredom and spreadsheets. And I bet that, on some level, you were attracted to his orderly, sensible, cautious nature — it’s a solid mooring when you’re being tossed around by your impulses.
McCoy also points out that money means very different things to different people. She recommends trying the “Prepare/Enrich” workbook, which she often uses to help couples better understand where their spouses might be coming from. “For some people, money is about safety and security, but for others, it’s a symbol of power or status — ‘I worked so hard, and I deserve this.’ If you have a better understanding of what money represents to your husband, then it’ll help you empathize with him.
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