As a mother, I’m terrified by her attitude.
You can help her with some tough love. If she is living at home with you, not working and basically hanging out, you can create boundaries and rules with consequences.
Request that she make a plan to find work so she can pay her own living expenses. That doesn’t mean creating a dynamic career. It means getting a job that pays money. I have been the exact opposite. I appreciate my privacy and do not want people coming over unannounced or uninvited. She would be so happy if I said yes, but I think I would be anxious as all get-out. How should I handle this?First of all, say yes. Your daughter will be forever grateful.
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