THE HEAVENS—Kicking Himself for never getting around to developing what would have been a useful skill, God, Our Heavenly Father, and the Creator of the Universe, admitted Thursday that he regretted never learning to speak Spanish.
God reported feeling frustrated with Himself that He had procrastinated for so long, admitting to reporters that if He had made a concerted effort to master the language when He was younger, He could have probably already been fluent by now.already 2021 and I still don’t know how to say more than ‘Wwo beers, please,’” said the omniscient deity, adding that the decreased neuroplasticity brought on by His advanced age would likely make it significantly more challenging to learn a new language.
“It sucks because if I’d taken some night classes or even just traveled around Spain or Mexico a bit,I’ve always been a quick study, and I’m already fairly conversant in Italian which people say is pretty similar.”in its original text beside my bed for centuries that I’ve always wanted to read,” God continued.
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