Fourth of July Foods, Ranked by How Much They Make Me Love America

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Fourth of July Foods, Ranked by How Much They Make Me Love America
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Deviled eggs? Read that name again. No, thank you, not in this good Christian nation

, it’s time for people across the country to fire up the grill for the most patriotic day of the year. Happy Fourth of July, my fellow Americans! I wish you full stomachs, clear consciences, and a charcoal-fired passion for this great nation and all the wonderful

Independence Day offers — ranked, here, by how much they make me love this land of stars and stripes:These foods do not make me love America. They are cold, they are slimy, they are sour. At their core, coleslaw, potato salad, and macaroni salad are worse versions of the superior dishes they seek to replicate.9. Baked beans

Normally, the association with Boston, one of the cradles of colonial American civilization, would be enough to carry this baby all the way to the top of the list, but I have to be honest here: while hours of painstaking domestic labor can produce a rich pot of baked beans, the truth is that very few people are bringing that caliber of beans to the Fourth of July party their friend decided to throw at the last minute in their patch of a backyard with the grill that won’t start and the vicious...

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