I’m concerned with some of my girlfriend’s financial habits, especially if we get married. What should I do, Moneyist?
Dear Quentin, My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for seven months, and it is getting more serious. I don’t expect us to get married in the next year but I like to plan ahead and if things keep working out, I do see us getting married in two to three years.
Money is not everything, but it is a tool that helps us navigate life. I have great plans for myself. I want to purchase investment properties, grow my investment portfolio, and so on. My parents did help with college, but the loans I did have after graduating paid off quickly. I lived at my parents’ home for 2.5 years after college; I purchased a car with cash well below my means and I saved well. You get the point.
I am a little upset that she doesn’t see the bigger picture. I spoke about how she should pay off her student loans as quickly as possible so she accrues as little interest as possible. Also, she doesn’t have a ton of expenses so she should pay them off, so when things like kids come up she isn’t worried about her loans. She still doesn’t understand.
Or I could end up selling my homes and starting from scratch when I don’t have as much time to pay off my mortgage before retirement. To be clear, I’m not saying she wouldn’t deserve anything. She will also be making money and her line of work will come with good benefits. She is 24 and you are 27. Three years can be a long time in your 20s. But not everyone operates at the same pace, and has the same constellation of family, financial and professional factors. There’s a line — and not a thin one, frankly — between helping a friend or partner manage their finances, and expecting them to be somebody they’re not or the same as we are.
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