A massage might reveal sources of pain that we wriggle around to avoid. Likewise, we might avoid painful subjects that are the ones we most need to talk about in therapy.
A therapist works with the client to help them recognize what’s really causing them the pain.don’t always want to engage with the issues that have brought them to therapy. Sometimes these issues are so painful that they spend a great deal of mental and emotional energy avoiding them, convincing themselves they are here to talk about something else, something less painful, although this less-painful issue is usually indirectly caused by the more painful issue.
What causes this sore spot in the first place? In our back, muscles might lock up to protect an area injured in a fall, which can set off a chain reaction of other muscles reacting until one gets strained too far. That’s when we end up hobbling in to see our masseuse, desperate for immediate relief. In our lives, we will experienceto deal with trauma, to protect ourselves from feeling these strong feelings.
Don’t let this idea of embracing the parts of you that scare you the most scare you too much. Most therapists are not going to force you to talk about something you don’t want to talk about. No masseuse would ever physically hold you down and force you to accept their elbow in the most sensitive part of your back if you said you didn’t want that. But, in both cases, the sore spot is mentioned and considered, not ignored. And if we’re not ready to address it this time, maybe next time.
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