Doyel: Scars of Irsay family’s mental health issues run deep. So they share to heal, help.

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Doyel: Scars of Irsay family’s mental health issues run deep. So they share to heal, help.
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Why Jim Irsay started Kicking the Stigma campaign: 'Right now there's someone in a basement, with a gun in their hand, saying: 'Tonight's the night.''

but in early 2020 Jim’s oldest daughter, Carlie Irsay-Gordon, challenged Kalen — whose role as Vice Chair of the Colts includes overseeing the family’s giving strategy and philosophy — to find a cause personal to the family.“We looked at the statistics, and they were staggering,” Kalen says. “Indiana’s youth suicide rate has been higher than the national average since 1999. It used to be the third-leading cause of death for Hoosier adolescents, but now it’s second.

“For the first time we’re telling the story, instead of the story being told about us,” Kalen says. “It’s been a healing process. Being able to share your story with others is a big part of healing.”Bullet holes in Irsay's wall, blood on the carpet His dad, Baltimore Colts owner Robert Irsay, had been drinking again — “liquored up,” the Winnetka police chief told Jim — and Robert had come home and decided to show the family dog who was master. The dog, a nine-pound Poodle, had bitten him. Robert got his two pistols and started shooting. Missed the dog. Hit the walls. Went to the hospital for stitches.“Half an hour later, from this secret closet where she keeps her furs, she comes ambling out,” Jim says. “Just one of those things.

“I was never a blackout drinker,” he says, perhaps because his tolerance was so high. “Really it was a question of self-destruction. It’s hard to watch. People that love me said, ‘Boy, what a life he’s had, but I’m waiting for the phone call . I don’t see how he can find a way out of this. It’s seemingly a lost cause.’

Irsay says he’s been to “thousands and thousands” of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings all over the world. The night before the AFC title game at New England on Jan. 14, 2004, another duel between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning? The owner of the Indianapolis Colts was at an AA meeting in Boston.

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