No 'therapy dupe' is going to get you there.
boost of ordering a new top online will surely fix it. Largely, therapy therapy dupes seem tongue-in-cheek. Most people understand that, while a Target trip might make you feel better in the short term, it doesn’t promote healing or reveal deeper truths about oneself. Still, whether it’s a joke or not, the idea of therapy dupes betrays an assumption about what therapy is supposed to do, namely make you feel better.
The advice you get about avoiding toxic positivity has the same problem. People will say things like, “denying your feelings just makes them worse.” But if there’s nothing wrong with negative emotions to start with, why are we worried about them “getting worse?” When we talk about accepting negative feelings, which ones are we talking about? One of the common responses to toxic positivity is that we can’t be happy all the time. Feelings of fear,, and sadness are both common and normal.
These trends are all signs that we aren’t necessarily practicing the emotional realism that we think we are. The alternative to toxic positivity needs to be more than just “some bad feelings are fine sometimes.” Actual emotional realism means accepting that our feelings have a life of their own and that they don’t always fit into the neat categories we create for them. We also need to learn to listen to them rather than try to boss them around.
We have a long way to go before emotional realism becomes real. We can start moving in the right direction by realizing that we don’t need to use therapy-speak to talk about our negative emotions. They aren’t always symptoms of mental health struggles. We don’t always need to “process” them and they don’t necessarily stem from trauma. We don’t have to “practice self-care” when we feel them. Instead, let’s try treating negative emotions just like positive ones.
Instead of thinking of bad feelings as something to manage, we see them for what they are: Part of a normal, full human life. Of course, many people need therapy and benefit from it — it can help us reframe our thinking in many helpful ways, deal with actual trauma, and manage many mental health conditions. But sometimes, feeling bad isn’t that deep. Our emotional lives are complicated because life is complicated. We don’t always need therapy or new pens to deal with it.
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