'While it all felt scandalously adult, I surprised myself by not feeling nervous. That is, until she wasn't wearing pants. Oh god, I thought. I have no idea what I'm doing.' -MelanieJWhyte
" and I've been singing the same song since I moved to the city after college. A year after that move, it was time to make the song a reality.
So I did what any early-twentysomething does when they're afraid — I went dancing, tried to have fun and forget all about my painfully lacking experience. But of course,. Rather than obsessing over my lack of familiarity with the complicated erogenous zones of genitalia, I looked for different ways to tap into pleasure.
What does this have to do with going down on a girl? Like Lorde's essay, I aimed to move past my ideas of what sex looks like when considering the language of"erotic." Because while the sensation of sweaty palms and dry lips can pull me out of a good moment, learning that pleasure is more than the physical can ground me when I feel unrooted from the familiar.
"I find the erotic such a kernel within myself," Lorde writes."When released from its intense and constrained pellet, it flows through and colors my life with a kind of energy that heightens and sensitizes and strengthens all my experience."
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