My husband never interacts with our daughters—he just hands them a screen.
I have a 14-year-old daughter who is smart, engaged, and curious about the world . She is out and proud , and very invested in LGBTQIA issues. But I am struggling with how to help her navigate middle and, next year, high school, among kids who aren’t as invested as she is, and who are sometimes outright hostile.
I’m also worried because I have observed her reacting angrily to innocent situations —for example, she was furious when her little brother said gay couples couldn’t have children, but he was just trying to figure out how his rudimentary birds and bees knowledge applied to a couple we know. If she’s reacting similarly at school, I can see why her classmates might become defensive.
Recently, M. has been playing over at my home more. Although there may be an open door policy at her house, I am uncomfortable with that policy at mine. I am very introverted and do not necessarily like friends over. If she were over just a few times a week I think I would get over it, but she is at my house all the time: every day after school and weekends too. She will invite herself over for lunch and although I am annoyed I also feel like it’s petty to tell her she needs to eat at home . M.
I do not think you need to “relax”; personally, I wouldn’t want any kid eating our Nutella out of the jar with a spoon. What you do need, I think, is clear parameters for the kids to follow. This way you can say to them, “In our house, you need to ask a grown-up before going in the pantry,” or “Our family eats lunch together, you should go home now and you can all play more later this afternoon,” and the kids will know how to proceed.
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