...this past weekend, my grandma came to meet my son. I posted a photo, and my MIL lost her mind.
DEAR ANNIE: My husband and I welcomed our first child in March. My husband is a child of divorce and has a mother with a long history of narcissistic behaviors. Both of his families and my family live two hours from where we live.
We have run into a problem in which grandparents want to see our son frequently. My husband and I work full time, and I work one Saturday a month. My mother-in-law expects to see my son once per month; however, we have friends we like to see and other family members as well. Any weekend we have plans, I cannot freely post anything to social media because MIL will have extreme jealousy that we are hanging out with my parents or my father-in-law.
We were supposed to see them four weeks ago, but I became violently ill and we canceled. We asked them to come the following Saturday, and they declined, as they were getting back from a trip the day prior and would want to recover. They then hung out with their friends that day. We told her she could come on a Sunday, and she stated, “You know, Sundays are hard for us.”
Anyway, this past weekend, my grandma came to meet my son. I posted a photo, and my MIL lost her mind. She was gaslighting my husband, saying we are hurting her deliberately and that we are keeping our child from seeing her. My husband grew up being treated like this and says we just need to ignore her, but I cannot live my life like this.
So long as she is not bringing any of this negativity with her when she does come to visit, I would continue to invite her to see the baby when it works for both your schedules. When she starts acting out in this manner, however, I would listen to your husband, who has been dealing with this his entire life. Pay no attention to her tantrums -- and tell her that you are unwilling to have such behavior around your baby.
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