Sure, I let you in. But this isn’t what I envisioned when I met you. I’m your human subject, naked and vanishingly small beneath the weight of all the clicks, likes, stars and views
First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines atThings were different when I first met you. You had my back. I remember the first time you mapped a transit route for me. That was hot. Never again would I get lost or have to ask for directions. You made my life easier and I trusted you. So when you asked to see my phone’s contacts, use my microphone or my camera, I agreed. Friends share.
Sure, I let you in. But this isn’t what I envisioned when I met you. I’m your human subject, naked and vanishingly small beneath the weight of all the clicks, likes, stars, views and what have you. No matter how much data I give, you want more. No matter how much I open up, I can’t help but to feel like, to you, I’m just another package of averages, a bundle of stats, at my best when I’m endlessly browsing. I feel pigeonholed, inescapably reduced to another twentysomething-year-old male.
But for all my self-confidence, I’ve lost sight of what I’m looking for. I’m no longer making my own choices. I’m waiting for you – depending on you – to make them for me. You know I seek order and safety, and so, no matter where I go, you inconspicuously repeat: “If you like this, you might also like this.” By trying to show me what I care about you’ve infiltrated the way I think about myself, my tastes, my values and my relationships.
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