Abby gives advice to the spouse of a sedentary husband.
I have been married for 40 years. When I married “Hugh,” I thought he was the nicest man I had ever met. We have two grown children of whom we are both very proud. Hugh19 years ago and said he was going to take “a little time off.” Abby, he has never gone back to work. I retired four years ago and got a little part-time job in a local shop in town. I do the housework, and our neighbor does our yard. Hugh goes to the grocery store, and that’s the only time he leaves the house.
and emotionally for me to leave, and I have nowhere else to go. I don’t know how to get through to him that blaming me for his problems is unjustified and undeserved. Any advice?You do not have to tolerate being verbally abused. Because you are unwilling or unable to leave, the next best thing would be to start leading your own life as much as possible. Stop enabling your husband to the extent you have been. He won’t like it, but do not allow him to make it your problem.
if it’s possible. Continue working, socialize separately and make as happy a life for yourself as you can.I thought I was friends with “Connie,” but with what has been happening lately, she’s obviously not my friend. She says she’s depressed, which does concern me, but she is using it to get me to take her to doctor’s appointments and to the store, even when it greatly interferes with my schedule.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
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